It is me. I wish to give my apologies for anyone interested in my writing as, I have, recently, had a rather large break of story writing. In short, it is because I have been incredibly busy, I had an overnight exercise last night, the night before was a wedding I had to sing at with the choir, before that was a writing short listed stories prize giving thing, and before that I went to see Antigone, before then I had a rehearsal with choir and the day before that, was a concert with the choir. That was one of my busiest weeks recently, so you get the idea (as I have homework to do too).
I am also getting increasingly annoyed with people around me. People I thought were friends are leaving me behind and new people are running ahead to join others. I feel the world around me constantly shifting, and more often than not find myself alone, on the only stationary part. Of course there are people, people around me to look after me, and are close to me, but after all, one is only human and too long a stretch with the same people can be frustrating (I am not the easiest to get on with).
In truth, I think I just want to go home. I am, all though perfectly happy during the day, rather homesick during the nights. Not the homesick where one cries nonstop, nor an actual sickening feeling, but really an emptiness of the people I care most about, which I try to fill, I do, but people are certain shapes and not all can fit a certain space. Furthermore, those who I have found to just about fit, end up moving on to fill another hole, while I am left, partially empty until someone else comes to fill it and leaves again. I see this cycle within myself over an over again, and I continue to look over at those who have moved on to fill others around me, and feel another hole blossom. I think I am also Friend sick, if there is such a thing. More holes of those going ahead and leaving me, are made.
That is the best way I can explain my feeling. some people don’t fit in the gaps we have made.
You don’t actually need to read these extra notes, they are just information ‘about’ the author, and also a reasonably anonymous blog, of myself.